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The Knobs have (at Last) Arrived!

(I was going to title this “Knobs Landing” after the great 80s soap opera but thought the reference might be too obscure)

You may recall I got all excited about making my own knobs a while ago when I made this little project for Angelo HOME.Vintage New York Subway Art Wall Shelf

Finalized Hand Made Subway Graphic KnobsI really enjoyed making them so I started playing around and made these samples.Cheltenham Road

I had just used random knobs I had lying around (an odd reality of my life)

Custom-Knobs-Black-and-White-Vintage-Style

The response was great!  People started asking where they could buy them.  I was onto something!

So, eager to get going, I went online and ordered a bunch of knobs.

And that’s when the knob-train went off the rails.

So, in the hopes that you will all learn from my errors I offer the following tips for when you next order mass quantities of knobs online.

Tip One:  Egads!  Foreigners!

Did you know there are people who live outside of the United States!?

And were you aware that those people make stuff!?

Apparently I was not.  Because I didn’t realize, until long after I placed the order and requested standard, slow-boat, ground shipping that I was, in fact, dealing with Canadians.

CANADIANS!!!!

Now, I don’t want to say that they were being secretive about their….. Canadianness  but they weren’t exactly shouting about it either.  There was no big “made in Canada” banner.  Nowhere did they suggest that the knobs would be great in my“hoose.”   (I love Canada and have many Canadian friends but we must be honest here, you say “house” wrong.  And now I, a proud Ohioan will go outside and warsh my car.  Be right back)

OK, totally my bad.  Not their fault.

Tip Two:  You Might Want To Read Your Invoice

They emailed me my invoice right after I purchased.

Naturally, I thought:  “great.  I’ll totally ignore that!”

Unfortunately, by ignoring it I missed the note that gently proclaimed  “these items are not in stock and will be shipped when they are back in stock

Tip Three:  If you don’t read your invoice and you don’t get a shipping notice you probably shouldn’t bank on making the product any time soon.

I made plans to display my new knob creations at two upcoming shows.  Told people who asked that the knobs were going to be available soon!

After waiting an appropriate amount of time for my order to arrive (albeit if it was coming from within the US and actually in stock) it dawned on me that I’d never gotten a shipping notice.  And that’s when I discovered the horrible truth:  CANADIANS!!!!!  OUT OF STOCK!!!!!!

OK. Still my bad.  I admit it.

So I waited.

…….for a month.

Tip Four:  Passive-Aggressive Revenge Fantasies  Will (Surprisingly)  Not  Solve the Problem

I was very happy when I got the “your knobs have arrived” email but rather than politely asking that, since I’d been waiting a month could they please upgrade my shipping I relied on the much more effective passive-aggressive-fantasy-plan.  I wouldn’t ask for speedy shipping.  No!  That would be an amateur move!  I would instead, in my mind, prepare a blistering online review wherein I would complain bitterly that they hadn’t even upgraded my shipping!!!!!!! Then they’d be sorry!

…….So, after 12 more days of traveling my knobs arrived.

And my evil  Canadian overlords gained points for two things.

1)      They love donuts!!  The knobs arrived in rather large Tim Horton’s box!!!!!  How can you be upset with people who order large amounts of donuts!?

2)      The knobs are beautiful!  Solid, lovely, well made and perfect.Knobs as far as the eye can see

I cannot wait to get started.

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About cheltenhamroad

I’ve been surrounded by amazingly creative people my whole life. My mom can, and does, make anything. The family has on occasion speculated that she just whipped up my dad one day when she discovered some left over fabric and stuffing. My three sisters have mad skills ranging from needlework to cooking to out and out ART. My father’s desk when I was growing up had a model train set going around it, oh, and he made that desk-from scratch. I’m the youngest and, as you can imagine, it’s a hard series of acts to follow. Truth be told, I’ve spent many, many years suppressing the creative instincts I learned at home. But I realized (rather late in life) that few things bring me more joy than making and creating. For the longest time when I went to stores I didn’t think, “I want that” I thought, “I can make that.” And, with a deep breath and a leap, I’ve started on a very new, kinda scary path. I’ve given up my steady, dependable (dull!) corporate life to spend my days happily humming away in my garage designing, creating, painting, decoupaging and sawing and, since this blog will be an honest take on things, there is also a fair amount of tripping, spilling and swearing. Through this blog I hope to share with you the struggles and (hopefully) triumphs of a very non-businessy business person. I also hope to make this blog a resource for people who like to work with their hands and who are, like me, always looking at things and thinking “I could make that!” I’ve lived many places since I left Cheltenham Road; I currently live in Los Angeles California. So, with this preamble- Welcome to Cheltenham Road! Please come on over and make yourself comfortable – the place is always open.

13 responses »

  1. “Knobs Landing”… classic. I’m glad you finally received them, but I wonder–couldn’t you have just made them yourself? Yep, I’m probably revealing my total ignorance aboot the trickiness of knob-creation here…

    Reply
  2. Its not “Canadianness”! Its “Canadianity” I’m sure of it!

    Reply
  3. I certainly would’ve have gotten the Knob’s Landing reference. Lots of folks would’ve. And aren’t you sneaky…I thought those knobs were porcelain of course until the end when you revealed THE TRUTH. You are so talented my friend.

    Reply
  4. You are much wittier than the average Canadian. Although I still think they’re nicer. Wouldn’t have any revenge fantasies about you and your knobs…

    Reply
  5. Proud Canadian here, we love our Tim Hortons and we make good stuff! Now please hurry and post the photos of the knobs after your transformations.

    Reply
  6. You are a hoot! Love your blog!

    Reply
  7. I agree with the above. This is really newsworthy!!! I like this kind of news!!! And I too was so totally surprised the knobs landing on your doorstep (in a culdesac?!) are nice quality wood. Wow. Wow. No wonder it took so long. I mean, you did not order just ten!

    Reply

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